November 20, 2016

Categories sober

My main focus for right now is going to be on a gentle but continuous calming of my mind. I was wound tight almost all of the previous week. And while I actually enjoyed it in some sense, I did a couple stupid things while lost in a mindless cluster fuck of to dos (including driving over a curb and knocking the mirror off the buick). I was also fatigued and ready to snap the majority of the week. I will focus on choice when I can feel the pressure building inside me on a visceral level. As I think of all the things I need to do, I begin to brace myself. I perform a mental Valsalva and ready myself for action while I’m driving down the road. The goal will be to focus on the breath and return to the present, without self-chastising, each time this happens. I’ve already done it a few (thousand?) times in the past hour.

Confidence over complacency. Ambition over apathy. Don’t complain, be happy, stay focused.

Goals revisited / restated:

sharpen my analytical ability, improve writing , broaden vocabulary, increase my orthopedic knowledge, decrease body fat and increase stamina and mobility, help others without throwing quite so much money at things, strengthen bonds with family and friends, create passive income, spend less, get the house rent-ready, create a garage gym.

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