I went to see my therapist for the first time today and I’m already not quite sure it’s going to work out. She makes me miss Dee [a therapist I worked with during my first stint with sobriety 2011 – 2013]. But she’s is ready to throw drugs at the problem right out of the gait, and I’m half convinced that may be the necessary course. Right now, I feel fine. But I know that can change in time. I will start rationalizing again. I may not succumb to my own mind-fuckery initially, but what happens when I get really upset six months from now?
I don’t want to relapse, but I am still ambivalent about pharmacological management.
Hopefully, I’ll have time to better hash out these thoughts tomorrow. Running on 8ish hours sleep over past two nights and I’m looking at six and a half hours tonight if I fall asleep in the next two minutes.
