10:31 AM: I had my first inclination to steer my shopping cart right into the liquor section of the St. Clairsville Kroger in a long time. It was subtle, but undeniable. Ironically, it seems that I’ve thought more about drinking since attending my first SMART meeting in a few months. I’ve wondered if this line of thinking is a strategical rationalization in providing me a potential out …. Or if it’s simply that I typically don’t think about drinking anymore, unless I attend a meeting.
Reading my old journal entries before posting them to the blog doesn’t tend to elicit the same response. The same stirrings. It is true that it paints the behavior as a pathway into oblivion, but I believe the fact that it is in the past has more to do with it. When I read about my prior proclivities, there is no consideration of future failings. When I attend a meeting, “what if” works its way into the forefront of my frontal lobe.
