12:48 PM: I was fairly adamant about sitting down to write, and would have been fairly angry if circumstance dictated otherwise, yet here I am with nothing to say. Today, once again, I will focus on gratitude. I have tried setting the alarm with varying degrees of success. Today I will set the alarm for every three hours, jot down what I’m grateful for at that time, and then write about that shit tonight.
3:04 AM: Not one alarm, not one moment of deliberate gratitude; however, looking back, there were multiple moments of spontaneous gratitude, perhaps even more so because I have been practicing it, if even haphazardly. Today I was grateful that I was able to get in six rounds of jiujitsu and that I am getting better at holding side control. I was grateful that the electric guy came to turn our electric back on within an hour of it being turned off instead of the following day (he lives on the Island). I was also grateful that I checked to make sure Suzi really did pay the bill in its entirety, as she said she did, instead of losing my shit. And I’m even more grateful that I actually didn’t even think to lose my shit. It just didn’t occur to me to lose my shit. I was grateful that I was able to see both of my patients and that I was able to spend some quality time with Josh at the gym.
Lastly, I am grateful that, with some deliberate effort, I moved away from self-disgust and debasement just moments ago when I realized that I had not once thought about gratitude after making it my singular focus. Without the alarm as a reminder, it is easy to do. I just now set my first alarm for tomorrow at 2 pm. It is my good intention to set it every three hours thereafter.
