The anger, the overwhelm, the exhaustion, and the inclination for procrastination are all very prominent contenders to take stake in my day. It’s as if after several days of doing naught, the inertia is almost palpably painful to overcome. It’s not that I feel particularly lazy or unmotivated in spite of feeling tired. It’s that I am having difficulty taking on one task, without a dozen others imposing themselves upon my psyche, creating a visceral tightness and an emotional self-victimization and capitulation.
I would like to finally get my mail in order. My new scanner even came, just now. However, when I think of accomplishing this task, I have difficulty not thinking of the yard work, the box of supplements still sitting on the floor, the clothes that need sorted, the bottom dresser drawer that needs cleared, the chair that needs cleared, the closet door that needs fixed, speaking of the new scanner, when am I going to run new wiring to this room, the back bedroom still needs finished, I haven’t started on the downstairs bathroom, the Hyundai should be started, oil needs changed in the Buick, speaking of which, I really need to go to the pet store for my poor fish who looks like he has fin rot, then I might as well go to Kroger, speaking of which I should get my cooking done for the week, plus I need to finish my paperwork and organize my home health visits, finally splitting the days, as there is no possible way I can see everyone and do Lancia on Monday and Wednesday, so I guess I’ll have to do Tiltonsville Tuesday, Thursday , and Friday, and I hope that doesn’t conflict with Cameron and New Martinsville, speaking of which, I need to figure out how to set up a map so that I can see my labels when zoomed out a bit to make things easier to group, plus I need to start the Facilitator training, and if I don’t get my courses done for blue sky, they are going to lock me out again.
I assumed that writing all that out would make matters worse, and I did it anyway, but it somehow lessened the mental burden. Perhaps because of its empirical absurdity once in print and its new potential for prioritization. Big rocks, and all that. [Several years later I learned that this is the foundation of Getting Things Done – David Allen]
It has occurred to me that this same difficulty in building momentum, due to difficulty single-tasking more than motivation, would occur after spending several days recovering from a bender. It took some practice getting started on any one thing without becoming upset about all the other things. With that in mind, focus will be my focus for today.
