I will chalk today up as a win. I still haven’t spoken to Suzi, but I did purchase an orchid for her and some food that she likes. When I got home, I noticed that she picked up a gallon of whole milk and I’m the only one who drinks it. She also took all the fucking razors and toothpaste to her aunts with her (her and Adora are staying the night as Adora has a cheering competition tomorrow). I was really angry at first, but if she didn’t care, she probably wouldn’t fuck with me by doing it. Of course, it could have been unintentional, but I’d rather think it was deliberate.
I chalk today up as a win because I managed to overcome some fairly strong urges this evening. I had all five senses going in the experience of potentially using. It was palpable. Painful. I went to a fucking NA meeting instead.
I also made it on the mat today when it would have been far easier to have foregone a fifth day in a row.
I am grateful that I managed to defeat my urges and made it onto the mat. I will hold on to that gratitude over the next few days.
