1:20 PM: It may be worth considering yesterday’s culmination of failures. I had considered making a second entry at approximately 4:30 AM and then I considered not making it, and the latter consideration was realized. It was, at least in part, due to the unrealized goals across the board. It was also, in a lesser part, an experimentation in how it feels to disregard even the singular list.
I did not do any soft tissue work. I had decided that another day off may be better for my shoulder and I do not believe I have the self control to go to the gym and not lift. Of course, I could have done the soft tissue work at home, but that is neither here nor there. Except that it is here and not there.
I did go to the fireworks with Suzi and actually appreciated the experience. Simply being in the moment was rewarding in and of itself. I had originally wanted to go to the gym to watch them, but Suzi’s people were sitting across from the stadium. My first thought, vocalized matter of factly once or twice, was that we weren’t going to be able to see shit. I was happy to be with Suzi and her family, so I didn’t much care about our vantage point; however, I couldn’t have been more wrong. We most definitely saw all the shit. The launch barge for the fireworks apparently moved this year, and we couldn’t have had better placing. It was actually someone concerning at times as at least one ember, still red hot, landed not 20 yards from us.
I did not do the wealthfront stuff. That was mostly because I had thought my goal for the day was no spending and I had purchased a pack of cigarettes and a black and mild a few hours prior. Had I checked, I may or may not have logged on to the wealthfront site.
I did not do address anything sitting on my desk and this is the goal that most assuredly fuels my ambivalence in the matter of strict adherence to daily goals.
Without flexibility, yesterday appears an utter failure. However, I practiced mindfulness and I did not fuck the fun right out of the day, even though that was my initial intent. I set aside my (un)righteous indignation and had a good day with Suzi.
Speaking of which, we got a metric shit ton accomplished in the back yard. I got the mower started (probably for the last time : RIP mower), changed the head on the trimmer, mowed, edged, weed whacked, and then cleared all the paint and junk around the two picnic tables, and then finally broke down and carried out the picnic table that has been rotting away for a half a decade or so. There was more, I think, but the point is, it’s a fuck sight better. I also sat down to do the one hard drive and ten minutes of paperwork at the end of the night. The drive I worked with ended up having a ton of unrecovered data on it. I recovered a little over 2,000 photos from 2009 to 2013, including vacation and Christmas pictures. This took quite some time and I worked with another large drive thereafter, recovering a little more data. By the time I’d finished, it was going on 4:30 AM. I physically reached toward the paperwork and then dropped my hand. I was spent.
I did not do the soft tissue work, but I did get in six rounds of jiujitsu when I felt for shit, did hours of yard work, and then went swimming with Suzi.
There is no denying the fact that I felt worse upon going to bed and even worse yet upon waking for not having met the majority of the day’s goals. However, to view yesterday in the light of failure is absurd all considered. The work in the backyard was a far bigger accomplishment toward creating freedom from the squalor coffin than getting rid of a few papers without even considering the extra time put into clearing the hard drives. I spent a lot of time in the relationship category, which was much needed. This begs the question, will I be more happy and / or more effective if I am strict or flexible with the daily goals?
4:44 AM: Making this entry, however brief, allows me to cross off all goals for the day. Which is nice. However, it would also be nice to catch up on sleep. I felt better when I slept more than I do when I cross everything off my little list.
