11:48 AM: Perhaps I’ll be able to tease out the good in succumbing to familial pressure that puts me at odds with reason as I explore the [relationships goals] category. In the meantime, and after, I will focus on having the most fun I can have regardless of any and all variables.
4:33 AM: I missed a lift tonight. Several times. I slammed the bar. Threw the bar. Threw other things. Scared the dog. I hated everything and wanted to die for hours. I still kind of do. I am once again wondering if it is worth it. Are the numbers worth the damage?
