12:44 PM: I drove home from dropping my home health paperwork off around 4:30 AM this morning. I had been, was at the time, and continued to be absolutely seething with barely contained rage. The garbage can lid was off-kilter, the scanner wasn’t working quite right, the water was taking too long to boil, and a host of other minor things occurred. And I nearly smashed, threw, or otherwise assaulted some inanimate object over each one. I had the presence of mind to not only recognize the absurdity and irrationality, but to seek a source. The best I could come up with was that I had crossed the threshold of not enough sleep and assumed I’d be running in a further deficit for a day or maybe two. It should be noted, that I slept a little over six hours and I feel fine right now. It should also be noted that I had made the decision to turn right at the Bridgeport light to see if Starfire was still open to purchase a pack of smokes. I then reversed that decision, for which I am thankful for now.
This evening I will sit down to explore the things I have been grateful for over the past few days. I will also write on the fact that I thought my mother was dead for a few hours Saturday morning. It would have been ideal to hash these out when they were fresh, but it will still be worthwhile to materialize and solidify these incomplete ideas, or thought-emotion hybrids, to written word.
