The past few days have been largely a distraction; however, I distracted myself by spending time with others rather than my deamon, whose call remains subtle yet strong. I lifted with George and Pat, went out to eat with Josh, bought him and Adora coffee, spent a lot of time with Suzi, went to Justin and Liz’s house, bought Suzi an orchid, etc. Still, tonight, the effort was deliberate. If I let my guard down, it’s over. Tomorrow may be the most trying day yet.
I will leave it at that as I do not want to go too far down the rabbit hole [I was still concerned regarding my test results and the possibility of recurrent cancer]. Instead, I will attempt to fend off what is becoming my habitual and perpetual state of procrastination and non-productivity. It’s not that I accomplish nothing, but I often worry about how I am going to integrate myself back into a vocational time sink when I have been so dramatically inefficient with my time.
Be happy. Stay focused. Don’t complain. This will be crucial today.
